R. Bransom describes seven types of difficult personalities. In each, the individual tries to control people and situations. The person displays specific behavior patterns which may be done consciously or unconsciously. See if you recognize any of the following behavior types.
Sherman Tanks or |
Sherman Tanks/bulldozers are bullies. They try to get their way in life by overwhelming others. They use aggression, intimidation and attack. They have a strong need to prove they are right. |
Snipers or Back Stabbers |
If instead of a tank, it is a sniper you have on your hands, then the coping tactics vary. Snipers take shots at you, or others around you, verbally. They indulge in innuendoes, not-too-subtle digs and non-playful teasing. Most people feel completely pinned down by a sniper. Snipers have a "superiority" complex that makes it difficult for them to see things from others perspectives. They crave having control of a situation. Snipers are people who attack in subtle ways. They do not overwhelm. Rather they take “pot shots” and make cutting remarks behind the guise of friendliness. Like Sherman Tanks, Snipers have a strong sense of how others should think and act. The sniper uses sarcasm or humor to get public attention. Whenever you try to defend against “the Sniper”, they play their trump, “Can’t you take a joke.” |
COMPLAINERS |
Complainers find fault with everything and have their accusatory style down so perfectly that they turn the tables on people, putting them immediate4ly on the defensive. There are also complainers who specialize in complaining to one person about another person who is not present to defend themselves. Complaining is the behavior of people who feel powerless, want change but won't risk anything themselves. They want to remain blameless in all situations Complainers constantly gripe about people and things in their lives. They seldom do anything about their grievances because they feel powerless, or because they refuse to take responsibility. The Complainer is ready to tell every thing wrong with the place.– This person gets whole departments “mad” at each other. Even though they may not know each other! “They destroy teamwork!” - Complainers skip about other people. Often with no basis. If Sally is gripping about Ruth, just say, “I know Ruth and I want to help you work out your trouble with her.” In going to walk down the hall, tell her what you said about her. Sally will be horrified! |
Exploders |
The Exploder is a person who throws tantrums when he or she feels thwarted or threatened. Coping with the Exploder is primarily a matter of helping the person regain self-control. First, let the tantrum run down before you enter the situation. If it does not run down, help break the spell of the tantrum state by speaking loudly and repetitively—”Wait a minute!” or “Stop!”. When you have gained the attention of the individual, say “I want to discuss this with you, but not this way.” Repeat the statement loudly until it gets through. Take a break and let the individual calm down before meeting with him/her to discuss the problem. |
Know-It-Alls |
Know-It-Alls convey a feeling of their own superiority that makes others feel humiliated, helpless and angry. They are condescending, imposing and pompous. |
CLAMS: the silent and unresponsive persons |
Clams are individuals who respond to virtually every question or plea for help with a “Yep” or “No” grunt. They are unresponsive when you need to discuss problems. It is hard to know how they feel or what stand they are taking. |
The Passive / Neutral Stare |
Passive rarely offer ideas or opinions – and rarely take a stand!!! When the boss is passive, there is tremendous potential for trouble.They sometimes rise facts because they have not taken many risk and make no or few mistakes or enemies. You see a co-worker some money from the petty cash box, which happen to be one of your responsibilities. Auditors schedule to check the drawer in 2 days.You approach your boss Mr. Passive.He replies – What can be done.You say something to employee or I will. Not good idea – you are doing all the dirty work. Keep document or file on him Tell Mr. Passive that if he doesn’t act you will send memo to his boss. Some risk in going over Boss head. Document everything. |
SUPER AGREEABLES |
Super Agreeables are personable, funny and outgoing, but they are not always genuine. When they are around, they are sincere and supportive. They want to please to people and so they will make promises to gain their acceptance. However, they are not reliable, and do not follow through. |
NEGATIVISTS |
Negativists find fault with everything and are eternal doomsayers. They have a big impact on work groups. Negativists have a deep-seated conviction that any task not in their own hands will fail. We all are vulnerable to discouragement and the chronically negative person is looking for confirmation that things are indeed hopeless. Negativists approach ideas and situations by saying, “It won’t work!”. They put a “damper” on enthusiasm and deflate the optimism of people around them. |
INDECISIVES |
Indecisives cannot make decisions. They stall until someone else decides for them. They are perfectionists. |
KNOW-IT-ALLS |
To the Know-it-all, knowledge is power. If you know something they don't, they may feel threatened. Yet you may have information that is critical to the success of a project. When that's the case, your goal is to open their minds to your information. |
WHINERS |
Whiners are people with impossibly high standards of perfection, who get so fixated on avoiding problems, that all they notice is what is wrong. Your goal with whiners is to shift their focus from problem finding to problem solving. |
WISHY WASHY PEOPLE |
Wishy washy people are people who like people who like people. And they will avoid conflict and confrontation at all costs, even if that means saying what they think you want to hear, or putting off decisions because they don't want to risk hurting or upsetting anyone by telling an uncomfortable truth. Your goal, obviously, is to get them to make and keep commitments, and your starting point is making honesty safe. Coping with Balloons:
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Reference: Bramson, Robert M. Coping With Difficult People, Doubleday, New York, NY, 1988.